always on my mind,on my mind..&modernity(!!)

"little things i should've said&done, just never took the time: you were always on my mind..,on my mind.." , elvis presley.


the year points 1972; an old song,record,gramafon disc,elvis's glasses& nobleness... how magical everything is..!    how awesome & pure the feelings are.  realized one more time how modernity could take us away from the wholeheartedness!

a smile happens in a flash,but its memory...

•Memphis, Arkansas,Mississippi postcards...
•Arkansas river rail electric streetcar map!
•Christmas cards!
•Amtrak chicago-newyork, newyork-chicago tickets!
•Chicago city map...!
• Newyork official visitor guide, winter 2010, metro cards, movie ticket!
•....
•....
•"Memphis vs Lakers" NBA game ticket!


memories,memories...!

stamp world!

- i'm going to california. do you want anything from there?

       - my girl friend is comin' next week. do you want anything from Japan!?

       - my family is comin' here from Thailand...

(bla bla...)

-of course yes! stamp stamp and stamp!
 it doesnt have to be such an expensive one! the cheapest is enough! thank you, thank you and thank you!:)

that's the usual conversation of me! :)

exactly believe in magic of stamps&post offices! these are the besties to discover a culture,country,what it is about&where you are at..

still remember, at duty-free store, even tough i was broke, bought mixed stamp box used all over the Europe 50, 60 ,70 years ago! they still smell history, happiness, hope,sadness! and what the people wrote inside...
or
tryin' to buy new ones from post offices of the countries i am at! really enjoy with that!

and yesterday, bought new ones used 100 years ago!!!
happiness, happiness! happiness!

searched some information about stamp&its history.
many years ago, shipping cost of sending mail was being paid by receiver instead of sender like cargo is being done now. as you predict,it had some problems. receiver refused to accept the letter to pay the shipping cost by some reasons.( the receiver was not the true one..., the receiver didnt want to read what the sender said.{there might be a "brokenheartedness":)}, or the envelope wasnt loved :} all these are my own scenarios.. bla bla..oohh! almost forgat! there was a different detail: some  people believed not having enouhg money for shipping. thats why they developed a new communication system: sender put a secret messageonto envelope. i'm fine,all goes well - so so) and these signs were enough to understand how the situation goes there. postal company was out of pocket, it  was quickly needed some change.

welcome to a new world: receiver do paying! to prevent all mixups, postal company started to label envelopes:  "it was already paid by sender, even tough you dont wonder or wanna take, it's yours:) " hahahha:) style of label was gradually changed & modernize: ink, signet and then "stamp"! welcome to another world,people!

                                                                            &

  

 then you witness to how the stamps were developed and capitalized.

welcome to the last world,people!
regards...

map of freedom!

map of freedom!

wondering the situation on the moon..
so take me there,please!
That's gonna be one small step for [a] man, one giant leap for mankind!

-madam,you have excess baggage!

for the attention of KLM, Air France,United Airways and "Turkish Airlines"!!

that's the usual sentence what i everytime hear from officer at airport:
-miss ergin, you have excess baggage!

  

Do i always have to take more baggage with me than the standard amount?
Is there any air-way in the world  gonna accept& love me with my extra baggages?

 
i 'm sick of  paying extra fee for each time!

of course, i dont mean what i am doing is right!
but..all my trips are kind of full trips gonna last more than 4,5 or 6 (or 7,8,9..nihahha)months!  and thats the important point!
dear air-lines, what is the supposed thing? having 10, 12 kg per person for whole 8.5 months? ok! i'm just gonna take myself for next time!!! but i am more than 5o kg! do i have to pay more for extra 5 ? !!!

diversity& more rights& being a woman!

i was walking on the street & by chance saw a public meeting organized by political party( identical  with " terrorism" here) supporters which are called as " trouble -makers" by others! they believe in having different identity & prefer speaking another language(Kurdish) instead of Turkish. They always want to have more and more and more rights on government& country! most of them firstly perceive themselves "Kurdish " instead of Turkish! Or only one of them: Kurdish!!!! I know , it is another issue to argue about this social identity problem!  However, diversity is not a good thing at all times!

People say , They secretly have some connection with other countries ( Iraq & America.. What a big surprise! The two enemies have a secret mutual enemy:Turkey) they get psychological & economical power from these countries & create terrorist actions to say "we are here and gonna continue being a problem until get our own rights !!! "

Causation: These are not my own ideas!  These are the general view/situation about the political group! Or these are my own observation of what people observe. Yeah! Love that! observation of observation!;)

Anyway,
Let's turn back to meeting.
At that time, the meeting was kind of only a woman meeting. The women were sitting on ground and saying something in mostly Kurdish , sometimes in Turkish! They had some cards on their hands summarizing their wishes!
" the political group in power can not solve this problem! We are gonna solve the problem! " blah blah...

For first time, it really made me think about their problem and the situation & proud of all women who fight for their rights! No matter what is this is for! Then I asked myself, would I stop,listen them and think about their wishes in same situation where men were taken role instead of women?
Don't know what the answer would be!
Maybe no! So , being a woman sometimes may be a "tool". And  it is kind of sexism!

Maybe , the reality is not exactly what I am writing! Maybe  I lost all my trust to specific things like democracy , the mystery of being a woman due to using these as a tool when it is needed! It is not fair!

Good morning from Istanbul;) !!
came yesterday to vote for referendum & school is starting next 2 weeks!
After my city's hot&dry& "un-rained" ;) (that's my own word!) weather, istanbul says me "hi" with it's almost cold weather;) exactly realized how I missed getting cold & need some more clothes!
Now, there is a French song on media player by chance... reminds me my old  days I had here when this song became famous!
Relationships/loves/ breaking up's... (dear English, it should be "breaking-down", shouldn't it?) ;)
I always wonder how the cities, even songs, maybe streets still keep memories even tough I sometimes forget!  Strange!!
Or there is a pschological explanation ; all our memories complete each other unconsciously! Songs remind streets, streets remind cities.. Cities also do the same! Gestalt Theory!
Anyway....;)



September 11.

“Imitation is the sincerest of flattery*”, Charles Caleb Colton.

 just read ,by chance, a criticism article about how this adage* is adopted by china!  china is criticized changing international brands' names with their chinese pronunciation and making  ideas“copy and paste”for their own domestic markets  !  however, it is added that it wouldn’t be fair to box all the newly industrialized countries as imitators.

maybe, the world exactly goes on like that! you give and take! 

••by the way, what can be nicer than the relationship between milk&chocolate? ;)

do not know actually how names are given to babies in different countries. what is the main point? outmoded grandpa&grandma's names to live the memories forever? or the most popular names to avoid the old-fashioned? some classical names from bible or what the religion's book is. what do parents mainly care?
all of these are applied here. (here? in Turkey:)

just realized, when i need the Turkish Language Association to learn meaning of some Turkish words, also check meaning of mine anytime as if i do not know! but, it works! :) learn a new meaning at every turn! :)


* forgot to say, the new phenomenon here is to give presidents' names!!

'cause it hurts!

when i have my own child/children (: , wont let my honey/honeys to be an exhange student abroad! 'cause saying "goodbye" to people you shared months always hurts!

or

may teach them to behave less emotional!

take care of yourself! and remember me at book&toy store at walmart:)

as the time passes...

as the time passes, you exactly understand & realize how you moved away from people/countries/cities/even streets you were together with!

sorry sir, it is not democracy!

democracy! it's said, the best political form of government!! what the democracy procedure tells us,referendum is a form of direct democracy! the all country is asked to either accept or reject some changes! and that's the point of democracy, isnt it?

however, and unfortunately, what my own observation says is, concept of democracy's changed in Turkey! democracy has used as a main "tool" instead of the main "goal" by the party in power! people do what the part does!
on september 12, there will be a new referendum about some changes on basic law of Turkey. sadly, people have no idea about the content of the changes! 'cause it's higgledy-piggledy* enough not to understand! that's why people say what supported party says! even more, they dont need&wonder to seek the content!!! the changes are becoming for the parties, not for the country! what a huge sadness...

how could it be called "democracy"? how can i believe in democracy where people dont know anything, even more dont wanna know anything when deciding the changes!?

sorry sir, it's not democracy...! it's just sign of power! it's just voice of blind majority!

*In a confused, disordered, or random way!

at Syrian border...

living at near the country borders alwalys excites, doesnt it? :) it gives us chance to explore more and more about differences & similarities existing among countries!

i grew up (or still growing..)and live in Antioch near the Syria... What's more, it is kind of city was involved in Syrian map many year ago! The cultural, historical and commercial interaction between Syria ( especially, its city Aleppo)and Antioch still goes on inspite of mainly language &religion difference ! Above all, first and foremost, i see there is a secret emotional connection among them! it may be called "psychological attachment" !! Thats why, all these connections will exist! It should though!
However, (and especially in summer) you see more Syrian licence plate than Antioch's in Antioch at specific times! which makes me a bit crazy!! Their gasoline is totally different from ours! Theirs pollutes the city MORE and makes harder to breathe!
Dear Syria& Syrian people, i wanna breathe!

ps: arriving to Aleppo from Antioch takes less than 3 hours (includes some obligatory procedure customs house and times at duty free :p ) and it is less than 70$ by bus for 14 hours :) ( 6am- 8pm)

Glückwünsche Deutschland! *

Export datas in last 5 years of Chiha(1,338,612,968 pop.) and Germany(81,757,600 pop.) helped me to understand how planned export is important in comparison to just placing emphasis on countries' population at export.( that is what China does!)
What's more, minimum wages & per capita income in Germany show how they perceive economic growth and the export in a schematic concept!
Different ideologies countries adopt may have an importance at this point. We may not wait to see same minimum wages & per capita income in China that Germany has; however Congratulations Germany!(*)

summer rain

- what is happiness?
-the rain in summer in the south!

typer-heart

this desktop computer' keyboard has just reminded me the old kind of typer which was at my primary school. I really loved its sound. although it's noisy, always had harmony. Moreover, all typers had a rule: you have to be careful & selfless, otherwise you have to write the same from the begining! i dont know why, but it reminded me love! you have to be caferul & selfless! Otherwise, you will restart the same way yourself, from the begining!

typer-hearts...

home after 8.5 months & rainfall in May & watermelon really smiling...

at home finally! :) and what's more,after 8.5 months!
whatever& however i write, already know no word will be able to explain what i feel! so let it slide! but,there is no place in the space like your home, there is no big hug like given by mother& father!
when i came to Turkey,Istanbul; realized the missing thing wasnt Turkey or Istanbul in total..it was to "own something"..it was to say :its my own country, my own city, my own money! and so forth:)
Istanbul continued to tell its story to me, made me drunk with its magic as usual! (: after one week in Istanbul (its another story, dear readers) came to Antakya! (already know, i need to open another paranthesis for this city here:))
but, wanted to tell that i am here finally! at home!
rainfall & watermelon.. are attending to my happiness!
i am extremelly glad to be with my happiness'mates! :)

The US, please let me go back to Turkey!

Hi buddies :) ,
it was planned that i will be in Paris right now instead of being still in Detroit! I stucked here:) I alwalys thought that it will never happen to me:) however experienced one more time, life comes with its unexpected touchings. We dont know what kind of magic & power it has.

The US, please let me go back to Turkey! :) I know, you are still using all your power to have me, but i am sorry, i belong to my country :) One of you should shut up! :)

I remember the day i decided to come to the US. It was not an easy decision for me! because i am the daughter of a man who had made his own war against to capitalizm, exploitation in all of his life, alwalys told&taught me "equality" in the life, shouted slogans against to American's decisions all over the world, lost many of his friends in this aim many many years ago! I still remember the all books that we had when i was a child! All of them were talking about these kind of things! I was too young to grab them! ...My two hands were to grab a candy, i guess!!!
As grow up and mature, tried to understand how the world works with its unfairness! I didnt want to be "something" such as a communist, capitalist, ...'ist... , 'ist !!! didnt want to be part of any ideology with some biases,without observing the others and criticizing them, without having any reason! I didnt want to close both my eyes, my ears to different ideas! Maybe, i will be "something" one day! But i will be sure that what i support, why i support! I am still in my own route to get my own ideology and really happy to meet you in this route! You made me really happy and my life more colorful!
and just realized that this writing is getting too serious :) & you are in my own island now :) Yeah!:) Welcome!
Airports :), they alwalys make me to write something about something:) Of course after shopping :) spending all money! when there is nothing else to do! :)
And, realized that i will miss to be an international student! i guess, it made me more powerful! was thinking that i am able to do everything when i am an international:) because people may think what u doin is about your culture in some case:) thats why i will miss to be crazy as well! :) And i know that you will miss my smile :) Hahahha :) I am a smile'ist ! :) Smilist!?? ( Haha, a new word to English! Dear English language, you sacks sometimes :D)
Dear America, i think we became good friend inspite of having different ideas in many cases!! See you again, of course!
and dear friends, be smilist:) i am lucky to get involved to your own route as well :)
Hope that, i will be able to fly to Turkey finally! :) Hahah! I want to be with my family after 8 months!

p.s:Enjoy being an international students as well!
p.s 2 : To Turkish friends.. Türkiye'de görüşmez üzere:) Saygısızlık ettiysem affola :) Gözlerinizden öpüyorum evlatlar:)

p.s 3:there are many things in my pocket to tell my father now! :)

gokce

Dorothy Counts

History often forgets about the smaller individuals who have changed the face of our landscape today. One of these individuals is Dorothy Counts, one of four black students chosen to integrate various high schools in North Carolina.

Dorothy Counts was taunted by, spit on, and harassed by other white classmates during her first four days of school 50 years ago on September 4, 1957. However, despite the uninviting atmosphere, she pressed on for 3 more days (before dropping out and moving to Pennsylvania for safety reasons) and became one of the first students in a line of many to integrate public schools.

In some ways, her actions and the actions of those like her helped spur on social reform during the Civil Rights movement in the 1950s and on. Her courage to press on and walk through the halls of Harry Harding High School made her a part of an ugly piece of American history and walking proof that few people can really change a lot.

taken by doobybrain.com

i extremely believe in fridays :)

"wake up early, let the friday to make you dynamic!"
if you dont have any class on friday, you start to feel relax when time comes to thursday:) and then friday mornings!
waking up early, breakfast( even in America!), checking mails( even frustrating one), studying spanish (me gusta caramelo :p ) , reading newspaper... and many other plans for today! and time is still is 11.14! yeah!

life is wonderful..; says jason mraz.
and adds,

It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes some words to make an action
It takes some work to make it work..

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is..

multum in parvo!

short & sweet! or multum in parvo! started to become the most important idea in my life, i guess. maybe, i started to love something more; like less !!! but still by respecting to all people.
i believe that an individual's life is like a circle where one is the center in. It is kind of a circle that people,you have in your own life, make this circle bigger and bigger with their stories, smiles, appreciations, or maybe with their sadness, tears. As you get a bigger circle, it enables you to have the new and newest stories and. More importantly, as you get a bigger circle, you start to know yourself better, remember being in the center as well. In this individual travelling, eventough you take place in other people's stories, you come to your own story in the end.
Maybe, all of our processes in our lives are for finding the shortest cut from circle to center.
Do you want to turn to your own story's pages when you feel tired yourself in the edge of circle sometimes? Do you have your own short cut?

barcelona: 4 arsenal :1 "unstoppable messi"

"We lost to a team who are better than us and against the best player in the world, but we had opportunities. The regret we have on the night is that at 1-0 we had great opportunities to score a second goal and over the two games we gave cheap goals away. At 1-0 we had a good counterattack but made the wrong choice but defensively we basically gave them the goals.

When there's players like Messi then you can pay for any mistake. He's the best player in the world by a distance. The difficulty with him is that he's not always in the game but when he's in it he's really dangerous. Once he's on the ball he's unstoppable; he's the only player who can change direction at such a pace. We battled and came back. We started well and at 3-1 we had chances to come back to 3-2, especially when Nicklas hit the post. We missed a few opportunities when we could have been more dangerous, but congratulations to Barcelona. They were better than us."
Arsène Wenger, Arsenal manager


P.S 1 : final madrid...santiago bernabeu! 22May,2010. i have to be there, have to be there.. but still, believe in miracles...

P.S 2 : This week, real madrid versus barcelona! It is a good chance for real madrid when barcelona is tired! but, it is barcelona, right?

yeahh!!! got the real "bravo" ... !

there were two psychology studies in the desk for 2 months that made me (still make though)really tired ( more ambitious as well...)which one is for research design in psychology class and the other one is for special problems in psychology ! i almost completed both studies' writing steps which is the most difficult part. when dr. kris was reading both my papers today, she looked at my eyes when completed reading and said : you are...you are studyin' hard; girl! these are excelent, no mistake, perfect! ...
i dont know exactly how i can express what i am feeling but..; i remember all my days that i spent to read, understand, write the papers for these projects. i remember the all days i didnt or couldnt sleep to correct my mistakes... remember the days that i had to complete reading 5 articles in two hours. now...i am not happy..this feeling is different and more than just being happy. if i wrote in my language now, would i find the name of this feeling? i dont think so.. it is kind of a feeling that doesnt accept any defination in any language! and most probably, these kinds of feelings are making me "gokce" ... and remember the days that i waited to say "oh be" !!! (which means "yeahh!!!)

P.S: Let's get the ball rolling for further steps!

P.S 2: At this point I gotta choose,nothing loose! And she wont look at you Won't look you at She hides through love / lady gaga

P.S 3 : started to countdown for Turkey,Istanbul,home..

i wish, i knew all languages...

i wish, i knew all languages in the world; even though it seems utopic. but how can i be contented with just my own language when there are many different hidden stories in others? how can i learn myself or all the world just in my sentences? how cant i understand 75-80 years old grandfather when he is telling all his unbelievable experiences in his own language? how cant i thank 5-6 years old boy by reason of making all my day fabulous with his smile? ... ...
i wish, all my life was summarized in one sentences which has a word from all languages. maybe... however inspite of being very fantastic,it is more realistic when i believe in going to the moon one day, isnt it? :)